The first person I ever let in my heart was taken away from me, and the world just 24 hours ago. I guess I shouldn't word it like this, because you will never ever been taken away from us...the career spanning legacy you have left behind...The world's greatest...will keep you alive amongst this sea of humanity for you. I'm wondering how it is, that we go on from here, how do we comfort each other, in this time of need, is this need for you...this mourning for you. Mourning for your being...mourning for your life...not just as our icon, our favourite singer, to some our hero...but simply mourning you as man, a son, brother...but most importantly a daddy. Gosh Michael how I feel for your babies right now...I keep thinking bout what Paris said in your Private Home Video's Special.... "I'm going to be like my daddy"
It's killing me that right now they cant see you smiling at your children, they cant hear their daddy tell them he loves them. They are so young, and what they are made to face is simply unbelievable. Not only must they learn to live without you, but they must do this, while the vicious media will be now more then ever be trying to get into their lives...trying to uncover everything that you have shielded them from since they were born.
I'm trying my hardest to think of an escapism from this, something happy, something to take me right out of this situation...this is the only thing i can think of before the grief and sadness for you takes over my body once again.
You have been a constant aura in my life since I was just a tiny girl. At a very young age I witnessed brilliance and I was completely drawn to you. It was the mid 80's I was being watched by a family friend. I remember very clearly that night being told that I had an early bed time because there was going to be a video on the TV that I was not allowed to see. I remember allot of excitement coming from the older kids, and the teenagers. I do recall the smiles on their faces as they rushed me upstairs to the bedroom for my early night of sleep...just in time for this video to start.
Not knowing until years later, that this video would become the ground breaking Thriller, and at this date was being premiered world wide. A not to miss TV extravaganza.
My little mind was in such wonderment bout what was taking place downstairs, as I heard the sound being raised. Not to mention i was extremely upset that my sister Crystal was just 2 years older then me, but was allowed to stay down with the rest of the party. So I took it upon myself to creep down the stairs like a spy. I got to the final set of stairs and I remember stopping, looking into the distance...on the TV was a young man in a red jacket smiling so big, it took over the screen. I had to make my move to get in for a better view. This had become my mission.
I had found the perfect spot, not only to hide the fact that I was downstairs, but I was watching this video that I was told would scare my tiny soul, it didn't matter I was in between the couch and the wall, right in front of the television.
I stared in awe, i listened intensely. I was motionless. The most beautiful voice my little ears had ever heard...i couldn't get enough...that is until he turned into a monster. I jumped at the fright, covered my face at the sight...but only for a second, because even at that age, I knew that I was witnessing something amazing. I opened my eyes back up and watched this video in its entirety. 13:32sec of pure magic. At the end of it, i heard the video Jockey say, 'That was Thriller, by the amazing Michael Jackson'.
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson...I had to know more, I had to see him again....As a young child I knew that I loved this man. Al tho I felt like Ola Ray, saying 'I wasn't that scared'...Michael always said back...'Ya you were scared'
Okay Mike, you got me!
My first real memory of you, the one memory I always ran back to...when I would be forced to face something bad from my childhood...This memory was my comfort. Tonight, on the Eve of your death...I'm putting this sacred memory to rest. I wish for apart of my comfort to be just another cushion in the blanket of love that the world is making for you.
